Run after me!

“If he doesn’t chase you when you walk away. Keep walking.”

I don’t let guys in. I keep them at a distance and I'll admit that I am pretty picky when it comes to guys. If he gives me too much attention I feel claustrophobic and run away. But when I run I don’t want them to chase me. Then there are the few guys in my life that I have liked and continued liking, the ones that haven’t made me claustrophobic, these are the guys that play my game. They don’t over do it, in fact they give me too little attention, but by that point I am too hooked to let it go. Recently there has been one such guy, I knew that nothing official was going on between us but I didn’t think that it meant nothing was going on between us. We would talk fairly often, maybe not often to some, but enough and we would see each other on a weekly basis. Now I have just found out that I am not the only girl. I guess at the back of my mind I always suspected that I wasn’t the only girl but I hoped that the others didn’t mean anything. I guess I was wrong. I was one of many and didn’t mean anything. As much as it hurts and as much as I want to almost pretend I don’t know I have to confront the issue and move forth with my life.

“People have been saying that you just hook up with every girl and that you are such a player and there is nothing wrong with that because there was never anything official or exclusive about us, but im not the type of girl that likes to be one of many. I have been that girl too many times before. So, before I get more invested in this I am going to bow out."

Then I'll walk away and even though my heart will be begging you to follow me, chase me and fight for me, I know you won't.

I know everything will get better eventually. This will pass. It’s just that the waiting for it to pass isn’t going to be easy. I’m worth more than I settled for. Everyone is worth more than that.

“Somewhere between heartaches and waiting, comes the chance to be found by someone who can show you that you don’t have to just be an option, but an only choice.”